How are we supposed to take medical staff as professionals if?

They aren't allowed to wear personal time pieces, watches and fobs. After a seriously heavy bout of extreme love making to various nubile lovely ladies i had to be taken to hospital because my sex organs overloaded my adrenal gland affecting my heart. I had sex about 25 million times and still had enough left in me for another go. In walked this Doctor, man she was hot. She had legs right up to her leggy bits. A body on her like WOW, the cheap slag only went and asked for a lend of my mobile phone to take my vitals. I asked her why don't you use your watch? she says we aint allowed them elf an safety bollocks an tha. I could tell she was trash. I let her use my phone to take my vitals and gave her a good seeing to when she was finished. Is it possible the NHS is that hard up that they need sex machines like me to act as some kind of medical equipment?